Overcoming Fear of Sobriety

Now that you are on the Sober Road, you might be wondering why in the world you would be fearful now.

You might be asking yourself, “Why do I worry about everything?”

First it was the worry about the bad path you were going down. Then it was worry over the decision to stop drinking. And now it’s concern about life in recovery.

Now, you might think that your feelings are illogical, but really they are quite normal. Totally normal.

Getting sober is scary. Another word for scared in this instance might be uncertainty. It’s hard to know what lies ahead. It’s hard not to worry about messing up somehow. It’s hard to stop worrying.

 

What is Fear

Fear is the worry or anticipation of something bad happening. Impending doom of some sort. In the case of those who drank or who were chemically dependent, the fear can be the very real worry over relapse.

Worrying too much (living in fear) can rot you from the inside out (literally). That’s what ulcers do, right? Because such stress can be reflected in your body, this is an important subject to think about.

We all carry around emotional baggage around. Sometimes the emotional baggage and psychic bruises are as big as lugging around steamer trunks or a dozen suitcases. If we are not careful, our fears can get the better of us. Don’t let that happen.

 

Fear of Failure

Nobody wants to fail.

Nobody wants to lose their sobriety.

Nobody wants to flunk recovery.

It is easy to be filled with attacks of “what if.”

What if AA doesn’t work?

What if I drink?

What if I can’t make it?

What if I’m a loser?

What if my case is different, and this program can’t work for me?

What if I’m so difficult that this program can’t work with me?

What if I’m not strong enough to be sober?

Well, let me tell you this. Everyone has fears. Everyone is afraid of one thing or another. It’s normal. The fact is, you still need to move forward.

Fear can be a good thing. It can motivate you. It can scare you straight. It can push you along the way to where you need to be (sober).

Keep living in recovery.

Do like the saying says, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”  Push through your uncertainties and concerns.

 

Fear of God

Some people worry that they will be punished by the divine for their past behaviors.

This is when it would be good to remember the concept of mercy. Edwin Markham observed, “Whoever falls from God’s right hand is caught in his left.”

 

Conquering Fear

There is no magic bullet for how to stop worrying, but if there was one, it would be this: Stay in Today.

Perseverating about the past (aka Yesterday) can only tear you up, because no matter what, you can not remake history.

The actual act of worrying about the future (aka Tomorrow) will not make the future happen any better or differently.

The only place where you can take action is in TODAY. Right now. We are creatures of the present. That’s the only place where we can act, and make things happen.

Also, keep in mind that fear and anxiety are a natural process that your brain goes through while readjusting its biochemistry after you have stopped drinking. From that perspective, a little worry means that you are getting better biologically.

 

How To Stop Worrying

For some people, and depending on your spiritual persuasion, sometimes physical objects can help with stress management, meditation, and prayer.

Worry dolls are tiny handmade craft items from Guatemala. At night whilst falling asleep, tell one of your worries to each doll, and put them underneath your pillows. Let the dolls do the worrying, and wake up in the morning worry-free. That’s the belief.

Worry beads are a method known in Greek culture. These Komboloi (aka Kompoloi) are said to help stave off stress, and facilitate relaxation. This can be nice if you are a person who always wants to have something in your hands, or to have something to do. Better to be holding a string of amber beads, than a beverage in an amber bottle that can get you intoxicated, right?

Worry beads are also part of the Islamic and Turkish life. Called Tespih, the user of the prayer beads recites prescribed words conveying the messages Praise be to God, Glory be to God, and God is most great. It is said that intensive recitation will result in the forgiveness of ones sins, even if those sins should happen to be of such magnitude as that of the waves of upon the ocean.

Rosary beads are believed to help provide the comfort and strength we need in tough times.  For Catholics, praying or reciting the rosary in devotion is said to be beneficial mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Buddhist prayer beads are used in that belief system to count up the number of recitations of a mantra during a person’s meditation.

 

Take Strength From Your Support Network

There can be multiple aspects to a support network.

Meditation.

Prayer.

Hiking.

Family.

AA.

Your higher power.

Community.

Friends.

Church.

Synagogue.

Temple.

Therapists.

Counselors.

Nature or the beauty of the universe.

Your support network can assist with encouragement, assistance, and alternative ideas.

Each part of your support community seems to echo that do not worry verse in the Bible, “Do not be afraid. I am with you.”

 

Don’t Forget

Remember, dealing with fear after you quit drinking is like eating an elephant.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

How do you live with your fears? One day at a time.