Trust Helps Make Recovery Plans Work
When we’re talking alcohol recovery, at first it seems like a tall order to be trusting God to provide such a huge level of healing. It can seem like we are asking and trusting God for a miracle. If a person stays on the program, though, the wisdom of that, “In God We Trust” thinking all somehow starts to make more sense.
In AA Alcoholics Anonymous terms, reference to the divine means to a higher power. People refer to the higher power according to their personal belief system, with terms like God, Higher Power, Nature, Life, or the order of the universe.
In twelve step recovery programs the first three steps are sometimes summarized as, “Trust in God” or, “Let go, and let God.”
In the ninth step promises we find the statement, “We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
Placing trust outside yourself
The emphasis on putting our trust in a source outside of ourselves in the initial steps of recovery is no coincidence.
When the alcoholic/addict is in the active stages of their disease, trust goes out the window. He recognizes he can’t trust his own thinking or emotions. He can’t trust his own resolutions to quit and abstain. He can’t trust in his willpower to carry him through hard times or daily life or not give in to the cravings. What he can trust in is that the addiction is patiently waiting for him, “cunning, baffling and powerful.”
In the initial stages of recovery it is the lack of trust in oneself that is being addressed when the program suggests trust in God, or a sponsor, or the recovery group, or all three.
When the recovering person focuses their trust outside themselves, they then begin to see slow positive results.
This is reinforcing, building more willingness to increase trust and a positive cycle begins. They witness themselves making progress, they get positive feedback from others and they experience a relief when the burden of struggling is lifted from their shoulders.
Learning to trust both yourself and other people
Trust in recovery involves not only learning to trust oneself by giving over control to a power outside of yourself (a paradox), but also learning or relearning to trust the other people in your life.
The practicing alcoholic/addict often associates with people who can’t be trusted with their possessions, with what they tell them or are told by them and especially their emotions.
By forming new relationships based on honesty, by making amends and righting their past wrongs, the recovering person relearns what it means to be trustworthy and to trust others.
Why becoming a trustworthy person takes time
Gaining the trust of others, often those who have lost faith and trust in you, is huge.
The person in recovery sometimes feels they’ve made great progress, made solid commitments to themselves, opened up a new relationship with a higher power.
So since they see a new and different, sober person within themselves, why are others unable or reluctant to see their progress? The answer lies in the emotional realm.
The recovering person has struggled emotionally, examined deeply, pried open doors inside themselves that seemed impossible to unlock. They have come from a place of dark despair into the light of hope and optimism.
Unfortunately other people can’t see that and haven’t shared in that emotional and spiritual transformation. Others may only see the old you.
It is only human nature to pull back from pain whether physical or emotional. People don’t want to trust if they’ve been burned once (or more).
Reestablishing trusting relationships is one of the most difficult parts of living in recovery.
Like the drinking habit, your old habits of guardedness and pessimism are difficult to replace. Conversely, others with whom you’ve broken trust are naturally going to have some reluctance to open up to you again. After all, they haven’t shared your internal struggle and aren’t experiencing the optimism and freedom you are feeling after the initial stages of recovery.
Trust in the future
Step by step, we learn to overcome our fears, and maintain a sober life.
Trust that the process of putting your trust in a higher power, in yourself, and in other people, will pay rich rewards.
Trust that your persistent efforts and personal, spiritual and emotional progress will pay dividends in your future relationships. After all, the divine plan is going to work out exactly as it’s supposed to, with your diligent work. This is how it works with alcoholism rehab recovery, after you have made the choice to stop drinking anymore.